It has been several years since I was at a funeral. Not that I didn’t know anyone that died, but because I just don’t feel like attending funerals. As a young boy I was always forced to go to funerals as I was told it was the “right” thing to do. I don’t think it is the right thing to do in regards to being forced into going.
I don’t even want to attend my own funeral. But in all seriousness I just don’t want the last image I have of a person is them lying in a coffin. I can get plenty of closure without seeing a person’s lifeless shell of a body lying with their arms folded and their eyes closed. I have a real problem with being in crowds anyway and to place me in a crowd in a funeral home is my biggest fear.
I would rather remember a person while they are alive and able to smile, laugh, joke, etc.. Am I wrong to feel this way? If I am wrong then I will just have to put up with the consequences then. It might sound mean to some people, but I just feel it should be up to me as whether I want to go to a funeral home or not.
It might seem disrespectful not to attend a parent’s funeral, but this is ultimately a personal choice. There is no obligation to attend a funeral, and you might find that you would like to say goodbye in your own way.
The last funeral I attended was for my grandfather who died of cancer and it was pretty traumatizing to see him as he did not look a thing like he did when he was alive. And from that day forward I said I would never attend another funeral and I have not. My brother passed away a couple of years ago and I did not attend his funeral. We were fairly close to but I just could not attend it. I grieved in my own way and I have dealt with it pretty good so far.
Skipping a funeral might lead to confrontation with friends and loved ones. Those who do not agree with your choice might want to voice their opinions, or they might express their feelings by cutting off contact. If me not attending a funeral of a loved one upsets you, then maybe you need to rethink my position related to my mental health. If you distance yourself from me over this, then good riddance.
